Whenever the mind conceives the thought and imagery of pain, in theory, at least in the BDSM realm I’ve entered, it’s intriguing. In fact, it’s needed when the One You choose to submit to, enjoys inflicting it. The images I’ve encountered in my imagination, real and imagined, are always built on intensity. I once thought I enjoyed pain. But, I found out it’s more about the touch and/or progression from light to hard that I found interesting. When I am in pain, it’s not usually a great feeling nor is it enjoyable. So, it must be the intensity behind the actual receiving of the pain. The abuse of the flesh and also the mind.
That gets me every time…. i don’t like to be hurt, i try to avoid pain. But, intensity? That’s my best friend! my homeboy, my compadre…
i can’t involve myself in a scene where the Woman is just going through the motions. No, that’s boring, uninspired and actually, rude! i NEED someone who will be FILLED with glee when abusing my flesh. i need to feel that She enjoys it so immensely that it doesn’t matter my role in the situation. As long as i am there for Her exclusive use!
The mind fuck is what gets me going, knowing She is about to go all in because She enjoys doing so. Even if it’s of an extreme nature and i can’t nor DON’T want to go through with it. i need for Her to look at me like She owns me and i have no other choice! It won’t work any other way!
The more intense the scene, the better it is for me to get through with it. It may actually sound strange, but, i’ve been wired that way and anything less doesn’t really do it for me. i’ve dealt with true sadists over the years who smile at my discomfort. i somehow like that. If She is able to cum by utilizing me for Her pure enjoyment, then i would ask that She not only cum, but to do it in a way that the memories of abusing me, brings a bright smile to Her face.
my ultimate goal? To not only match the intensity of the scene as well as my tormentor, but, to outlast Her so i can ‘encourage’ Her to make the next scene even more intense….